Because I am admittedly a Nicola Tesla freak, out of pure curiousity I had to click on one of the ads in the right hand panel .  I think few people will deny that he was one of the great geniuses of the past two centuries,and his battle/rivalry with Edison is the stuff of scientific legend.  I never tire reading or watching any show having to do with him and his inventions.

Anyway, when I saw "The Tesla Shield" being advertised of course I had to take a peek.  This certainly must be the invention to end all inventions when it comes to realizing your full potential, among other trivial things.  According to the information provided on the website, this device is based on one of Tesla's own inventions, a Personal Oscillator.  Now the theory is that everything in the universe has a unique vibratory rate (I'm reading from the ad here)  that "resonates with the heart of the cosmos".  So, what better idea then to find a way to tap into this vibration and use it for personal health and advancement?

Along comes the the Tesla Shield with a bioactive outer shell which tunes into these vibrations within the cosmic energy field through particles known as tachyons.  The existence of tachyons, as far as I can tell, has not yet been proven and the scientific community is divided as to whether or not they truly exist.  The idea that they are faster than the speed of light seems to be the main monkey wrench in tachyon theory.

However, that has not dampened the enthusiasm of the inventors of the Tesla Shield.  Without going into too much detail, the bioactive outer shell of the device slows down tachyon particles and allows them to interact with the human bioenergetic field.  Thus a person can begin to properly resonate with the universe and experience wondrous beneficial effects. And not just humans, but your pet and plants will benefit as well!

Made out of components like the Zeusite microsphere™ and a Quantum Microvortex™ caduceus coil (I'm not making this up, folks), how can it NOT provide all the following and much, much more:  (Jason and Grant, take note.  It may have potential as a ghost hunting tool)

Protection Against Harmful Electromagnetic Radiation (AKA EMF EMR EMP)
Heals Strengthens And Protects Mind Body And Soul
Balances And Enhances The Biophysical Energy Field
Promotes Mental Clarity Focus And Concentration
Promotes A Sense Of Balance And Centeredness
Promotes Feelings Of Love Joy Peace And Happiness
Helps You Become Relaxed Harmonious Peaceful And Calm
Neutralizes Disharmonious Or Negative Energies
Clears Negative Energies Of Cosmic Or Telluric Origin
Helps To Releases Blockages Or Stagnant Energy
Awakens And Enhances Psychic And Healing Abilities
Ideal for Healers, Lightworkers and Channelers
Expands Consciousness And Awareness
Rapid Revitalisation Of The Organism
Diminishes Fatigue And Tiredness
Enhances Physical Strength And Stamina
Improves Sleep
Retards Aging
Acts As A 24/7 Passive Psychic Shield
Energises Food And Water
Stimulates The Third Eye Chakra Improving Intuition And Creativity
Assists Connection To The Divine Source
Empowers Meditation And Prayer
Facilitates Ascension
Increases Synchronicity
Enhances Manifesting Abilities
Assists Astral Projection And Lucid Dreaming
Suitable For Adults And Children Of Any Age
Beneficial For Pets Animals And Plants
Use As A Pendulum In Chakra And Aura Balancing
Use As A Transmitter Pendulum In Distant Healing
Use As A Tuning Pendulum In Radionics
Use As A Pendulum For Radiesthesia And Dowsing

To prove their point, the purveyors of this product have before and after pictures of fingers showing changes in energy fields brought about by the Shield, using Kirlian photography.  The fact that Kirlian theory and photography has been debunked when researchers noted that the so-called changes were brought about by the varying degrees of pressure the subject was exerting on the photographic plate seems not to have stopped the inventors from using it anyway to prove that their device works.

Of interest are the pictures used on the websites, especially the one with the gold Egyptian statue with the beam of light coming in (or going out?) of its forehead. Very convincing.

At $199.95 a pop, it's a mere pittance–or bag of shells, as Ralph Kramden would say–to insure that you are in harmony with the universe.  There's a wholesale discount available, so maybe some of us should pool our resources and give it a skeptical try-or skeptical heave-ho, if we find it wanting.  Ah, the wonders of modern science!

P.S. They do take PayPal

P.P.S.  Hannum's statement "There's A Sucker Born Every Minute" might apply here, but I digress.

http://www.lifetechnology.com/teslashield.htm

Excellent post, Oubliette.  I'm always up for a machine that can "protect my soul" and also "facilitates ascension."  Sweet…

Anyway, I'm a bit of a "Tesla freak" myself.  Something tells me that Mr. Tesla wouldn't be very happy with this product.  Not happy at all. The Disclaimer, which can be found here, really made me laugh.  "However, these products are intended for research purposes only, no medical claims are stated or implied. Descriptions used are subtle energy references only and should not be interpreted to apply to physical conditions."  But…but…I thought it was supposed to "enhance physical strength and stamina."  I guess our definition and Telsa's definition of "physical" and their definition of "physical" may not be the same thing.

Also Oubliette, your link only shows the bottom of the barrel version.  There are actually ten in total, with the Tesla Shield, Eye of Horus Version 1.0, which sells for $1999.95, being their top of the line model.  It has "selected precious gemstones chosen for their therapeutic and metaphysical properties."  All ten versions can be found here.

I have this feeling that if Tesla was still alive today, he would know exactly where to test his Earthquake Machine…   (Which, by the way, was seen on MythBusters.  They gave it a "Busted" but many complained that their experiment was flawed.  I watched that episode and it did produce a vibration noticeable from 100 feet away.  It was declared "busted" because it didn't produce a strong enough force to qualify as an earthquake.  I agree with many fans of the show that their experiment was indeed flawed.  I'm not saying that the machine works, I'm just saying that it wasn't given a fair evaluation due to poor research and an improper set-up of the experiment. ) 

Stephen said:

I will definitely get a Tesla Shield, just in case I am ever attacked by Nicola Tesla. Or an electric car. Actually, I think a buttoned shirt would work reasonably well– Tesla hated shirt buttons. (Seriously.)

I found a fairly kickass review of the Tesla Purple Shield here:

http://6-bleen-7.livejournal.com/57290.html

Make sure to read until the end for the punchline.

OMG, how do you find this hilarious stuff?  My DNA needs repair but the doc told me I'd have to wait at least 2 or 3 decades as the waiting list is so long.

I really wonder what Tesla would think about all this idiocy being done with some of his inventions/ideas?  Being the retiring and quiet man that he was, he would probably only sit back and laugh.