CHAPTER ONE

Revenant burst through the door to the conference room.

"Sorry, I'm late." he said as he threw a large black bag on the conference table. 

"'Bout time" muttered Blinddog.  "We already cracked into a second bottle of bourbon."  Alicat and Nosfer nodded accordingly.

"So I see.  Anyway, welcome to the first meeting of Revenant's Cryptozoological Society…or RCS for short.  No time to waste, I already have chosen our first mission."

Nosfer put down his glass and said "Our first mission?  Isn't that something that we should vote upon?"

"No, if it were Nosfer's Cryptozoological Society, I'm sure we'd be voting.  Since it isn't…no voting." Revenant said with a slight smile.  Alicat looked liked she was about to say something and then decided not to.

"We shall be going after the elusive and mysterious…Stephen."  A hush fell over the RCS.

"Back in the day, Stephen was seen on the forums with great frequency.  Throughout time, his posts began to dwindle.  He has not been seen in quite some time.  Most feel that he is extinct.  Yet, in the past couple of months, there have been several eye-witness reports of his posts.  Nothing confirmed.  Is Stephen still out there?  I say yes!  Gather your gear.  I've hired transportation for us."

CHAPTER TWO

The journey into the imaginary Skeptical Forrest took much longer than anticipated.  In hindsight, using elephants for transportation may not have been the wisest move.  Giving Blinddog the map and a case of bourbon…also not the wisest move.  Also grossly miscalculating the amount of elephants needed (57) for the amount of people on the journey (4)…again, not the wisest move.  Obviously, wisdom will not be the calling card of the RCS.

Finally, we reached our destination.  In theory at least.  Being skeptics, there were doubts if we had truly reached our destination.  Followed by a discussion if we truly existed in the first place.  Which, of course, was followed by yet another discussion proposing that we may exist and the destination may exist, yet neither were really as important as our supply of bourbon…which really did exist.  Although Nosfer still had doubts.

Unpacking one of the many elephants, Revenant said "Alright, let's set up camp.  It's starting to get dark.  Blinddog, set up the camera traps.  Alicat, set up the perimeter around the camp.  Nosfer, break on the night-vision gear and sound equipment."

"What are you going to do?" asked Alicat.

Revenant adjusted his safari hat and placed his hands on his hips as to strike a very manly pose.  "Practicing my speech on our adventure for the local news.  The press is our one way ticket to stardom.  Really, it's the most important aspect of what we do at the RCS…besides looking good while doing it…"

CHAPTER THREE

Darkness fell upon the camp.  Alicat was busy adjusting one of the monitors when she heard the tell-tale sound of a pump-action shotgun.  She slowly turned around.  Her eyes widened at what she saw. 

Nosfer was wiping down his Remington 870 pump-action shotgun.  Revenant was adjusting the scope on his M86 sniper rifle.  Blinddog was carefully removing his M72 LAW (Light Anti-tank Weapon) from its crate.

"Um…we're…still going after Stephen, right?" asked Alicat.

"Yes."

After a long pause, Alicat asked "Are those some sort of high-tech tranquilizer guns?"

The three men looked at each for a moment.

"In a manner of speaking…kind of.  Yes.  Sort of." answered Revenant.

"Why am I not really believing you?"

"The weapons are only our first and last restort.  No need to worry."

"What?  First and…what?  That doesn't even make sense."

Revenant looked blankly at Alicat as said "Look, this is 'seriousoso.'  I don't want to get all 'referency' or 'flipiority' on you.  But when one 'cryptozoologizes,' one must look at the 'bulbousity' of the entire context of things."

"WHAT?" shouted Alicat.

"Exactly." Nosfer calmly stated.

"Yeah." Blinddog chimed in.

"Am I the only sane one here?" exclaimed Alicat.

"Depends…" said Revenant.  "Define 'sane.'"

"Define 'here.'" said Nosfer.

"We have more bourbon, right?" asked Blinddog.

TO BE CONTINUED…

CHAPTER 3   Part Two

As Alicat made her way over to Blinddog to hand him another bottle, she shook her head and muttered "sane?  Did I expect anyone one of these three to actually be sane?!  Nah, I guess that's why I got on board here.  But, Nosfer did say, 'define here'."

For a moment she thought "where exactly are we?  I've taken planes trains and automobiles and now elephants to get 'here'."  Then, all of a sudden she heard Nosfer whisper "Quiet!  The elephants are restless!"

Revenant then stealthly moved to the edge of the camp and went into the brush.  Blinddog put on his special Barry road-kill hat and followed.

At that point Nosfer walked casually over to Alicat and laughed.  "Well, that will keep them busy for awhile.  Let's get all of Revenant's gourmet provisions unpacked and start a fire so we can be ready for him to make us one of his great meals when he returns from that wild goose chase with Blinddog.  Maybe he will actually bring back a wild goose or maybe it will actually be some Grey Goose.  I heard Blinddog say he saw a liquor store on the outskirts of town before we left.  Either way, we're bound to have a great meal."

Suddenly Alicat and Nosfer heard a branch crack.  Silence.  Nosfer lifted the shotgun and waited.  "Hey honey I'm home!" they heard Blinddog say as he walked into camp.  Nosfer stood down.  "Gee Blinddog, you gave us a start!" he said.  Blinddog responded "I could smell the fire burning so I returned to camp.  Revenant is still checking the perimeter."

Shortly thereafter Revenant returned, took his manly stance and declared "All's well for the night!"  It was then that he saw all his gourmet goodies set out on the table and declared in his best Gordon Ramsay imitation "Get out of my kitchen!  I am in control here!"

Alicat, Nosfer and Blinddog then cracked open another bottle of bourbon and toasted their first night in camp while enjoying the ambience of the surroundings and watching Revenant at work.

Soon after Nosfer, Blinddog and Revenant began talking about chemistry, statistics and security matters while discussing the differences between Ozzie Osborne and Ozzie Nelson.  Revenant brought out his guitar and the first camp sing along began.

It was then that Alicat knew what she had suspected all along.  No one here was sane!

Bobarino said:

Just for the record – You guys are wierd.     

Absolutely.  Why did I write it?  Many reasons.  I guess the main one is to remind people that even though we're skeptics, we are many other things as well…like funny (hopefully), generally good-natured, and have a decent sense of what's going on and what's truly important.  Many of the threads take on a very serious tone.  Sometimes things get down right ugly in some of the threads.  Maybe having a couple of threads like this every now and then will give people a laugh and afford them the time to take a step back, breath, think about things, and then attack a subject or a topic with logic and not the person who has an opposing view (well…unless they're REALLY asking for it…  ).

Stephen – Excellent response, sir.  Even written as a chapter as well.  Very nice.  And welcome back…

Alicat- Well done indeed.  Although there was no mention of me being "ruggedly handsome" or "wickedly clever"…I'm sure those were coming in part 3 of Chapter 3.  And I'm loving how we now have "parts" to chapters.  Excellent…

Blinddog- And how exactly did you get a picture of my dog….?

blinddog50 said:

Blinddog- And how exactly did you get a picture of my dog….?

Rev, maybe the bigger question should be, "Who rolled the joint for him"?

On second thought…that's not my dog…

Okay, which one of the three of you dropped the pages on the floor and put a "FOUR" on top of that page?  Am I in charge of continuity as well?