The second part of this episode, the Ghost Light of Portland, Oregon, is one that Austin says they’ve never done before.  That’s true.  They’ve never investigated a light in the sky in Portland before.

The footage shows a bluish light traveling above a bridge on the Willamette River and then changing colors, turning and doing a dramatic dive into the water where it disappears.  At least three “wows” are uttered as the clip is being cued up, even before it airs.  This has to be good!  It’s not.

Both witnesses are willing to meet with FoF and both say it’s 100% authentic.  As opposed to only 83% authentic…well of course they say it’s 100% authentic, what else would they say?  If they had said anything else we wouldn’t have gotten this far on the clip.

What Jael loves about this is that the area has an extensive history of streetcar accidents and even suicides off the bridges so this could even be a ghost orb.  Sigh.  Gone, just like that, one TV, one DVR, and one-half of an entertainment center.  I really need to pick something smaller than an end-table to throw next time!  Does that statement mean that, not only is Jael quite morbid in what she loves, but that she has researched that section of Portland?

On a side note, I’ve been across the Hawthorne bridge several times at night (once while playing with a lighted yo-yo) and never experienced anything.

Ben likes the video because it is really clear video and shows a craft that is doing maneuvers that can’t really be explained easily.  Well, that IS true.  It probably is beyond these guys to explain how something would make a gentle gliding arc downward.  That really does sound otherworldly, doesn’t it!

Chi-Lan does nothing to redeem them by saying that the video is completely perplexing.  Again, nothing surprising there.

Since the other three really wanted to go to the swamp, Bill, Austin, and Jael go to Portland.  Just prior to the flashback, Bill says they ran a number of tests and got interesting results.  This has to be good!

It’s not.

They start out driving east over the Hawthorne bridge and Bill starts us out saying that many people consider Portland to be the most haunted city in the west coast.  I’d have said ON the west coast, but no matter.  Funny how all these unofficial designations come up.  Savannah, Georgia.  Portland, Oregon.   Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.  What?  You’ve not heard of that last one?  Well, Truth or Consequences is the most haunted three-word city in a state that has an ‘X’ in it.

They continue on driving but now appear to be going east on the Morrison Bridge (just north of the Hawthorne)  Are they just crisscrossing back and forth over the river?  But if so, why are they going east each time?  If you go east over the Hawthorne and then drive up to the next river crossing to go back over, you should be going West over the Morrison.  Well, chalk it up to the usual inconsistencies in this series.  It gets better.  The next driving shot is again going east on the Hawthorne where Austin says that the bridge they are currently on is cursed, they say that the river is haunted.  I think he’s just  making stuff up at this point.  Though I’m not sure how that differs from normal.

The incident was recent, Jael tells us, and took place on 15 August 2010.  She goes on to say how Duncan and his girlfriend are walking along the waterfront and see this object hovering next to the historic Hawthorne Bridge.  Austin next tells us that the darn skeptics discredit the video with everything from RC toys to weather balloons.  Darn skeptics.

As night falls, FoF meet with Duncan Schoeuman and his girlfriend.  Duncan takes them to show where he took the video from.  He tells how it flew in a smooth path until finally disappearing down along the waterline.

Bill (are we sure this isn’t Birnes?) asks about it being so close to the water whether or not Duncan thought about Unidentified Submerged Objects.  Duncan says that there has been some speculation about that and says that parts of the river are “like 160 feet deep” so something could be hidden underneath not 20 feet away and they wouldn’t even know it.

Jael asks about the camera and whether or not Duncan has it with him.  He does.  A simple Point-and-Shoot capable of doing movie footage.

Jael: “Fantastic, uh, would you mind if we borrowed this to use for some of our experiments?”

Duncan: “Absolutely”

The question was “WOULD YOU MIND if we borrowed this…”  Duncan says "Absolutely", which would mean “Absolutely I mind” and so Jael STILL takes his camera.  Sheesh!

Time for some tests.  Specifically a Frisbee Test.  Uh oh!  Jael speculates (sorry, “theorizes”) that because of all the foot traffic on the bridge that someone just threw and illuminated toy.  Austin says that he grew up playing Frisbee golf and knows that they make discs that are illuminated for night play.

They pick up a few lighted Frisbees and add their own lights to them for effect.  Austin is tasked for the job of throwing the Frisbees and heads off to the bridge.  Jael and Bill will stay at the vantage point where the original footage was shot and use the original camera to film Austin’s attempt.  On 3 – 2 – 1, Throw it Austin!

Austin chucks the Frisbee off the bridge and we’ll have to wait til after the commercial to see where it goes.  Austin throws the Frisbee and it sails out a ways before the glue comes off one of the blue LEDs and we can see it separate from the main Frisbee and drop into the river.  The rest of the Frisbee follows suit a little bit later, smacking The Old Man in the head while in his rowboat.

Flight path over the bridge looked good, then it went straight down.  Not good.  They repeat the process and Austin whips another Frisbee off the bridge into the wind and it, too, ends up going straight down into the drink.

Okay, not a Frisbee probably.  Just didn’t have the control over it, Jael says.  Bill says there is just no way to have control over something like a Frisbee.  That’s two utterances of the word “control” in as many seconds so I’m surprised they didn’t jump right to the RC test.  But, we still have time to kill so next up is a balloon test.

Out comes a helium balloon that will be towed behind a boat.  Really stretching here but let’s watch.  They fill the balloon with LEDs and fill and tie it off.  Attach it to a spool that Bill will use to control the height of the balloon (remember that later) and Jael will film while Austin drives.  At 3 – 2 – 1 Release UFO, they launch the balloon.  Why UFO?  Why not balloon, it’s identified at this point.

Bill cranks out line and the balloon goes up while Austin tries not to run aground.  Jael tells Austin to step on the gas which he does and the balloon starts to move around.  Next she tells him to turn the boat which he does.   FoF has been watching too much DT.  In the first episode we had Ben’s question.  In this episode we have Bill mimicking Josh’s trademark “Go! Go! Go!”  What’s next?  Will their vehicles break down and we’ll be subjected to 12 minutes of local culture before they carry out their experiments?

Anywho.  Jael gets a concerned look on her face and says “That’s too high, guys.”  Apparently she’s not the only one who thinks so.  A dark blazer pulls up behind her and a guy in a dark suit steps out.  “Ma’am, I’m from the FAA, I’d like to talk to you about this balloon thing you’re doing here.”

To get Jael off the hook, Bill starts reeling the balloon in and we do a side by side comparison.

“Much better than the Frisbee experiment” Jael says, “Way more control.”  Which is to say they had “some” control other than determining the initial direction the object would go.  Not only is the balloon moving too slow, but when they slowed down to make the turn, the balloon ascended.  Well, that latter problem would not be an issue if Bill was doing what he was supposed to be doing which was controlling the height.  All he would have to do would be to reel in the balloon a bit when they were making the turn and we all know he can crank spinny things like there is no tomorrow!

We need more control with more speed.  We also need a color change at the end.  We need a Remote Control plane!  Fortunately they brought one.

They add some blue and red LEDs to the appropriate sides of an F-27 Stryker which fortunately costs about 5 times less than the Helicopter they used to debunk the floating Burger King sign.

Duncan described the object as silent but Jael says that from 400 yards away they probably won’t be able to hear it.  I have to go along with that especially when you consider it will be launched from a busy bridge, the traffic on which should drown out the motor.

Jael heads down to the vantage point to film, and Bill and Austin get ready to “in 3 – 2 – 1, Launch Plane”  Wait, the last time it was Launch UFO.  Shouldn’t this be Launch UFO also?  Or maybe the other should have been Launch Balloon?  Austin wonders too and seems to hesitate before throwing the plane which, before the commercial break, appears to start heading down toward the water as a heated discussion ensues between Austin and Bill over which communication channel was set on the plane.

Back from commercials.  Have you bought your diamonds yet?  We see Austin throw the plane and we’re back to the Situation Room with one minute to spare before lunch.

Recap as usual and we finally get to see the results of the RC plane.  The results are exact.  Well, except for being able to see red AND blue at the end.  Oh, and that the original object is round and the experimental footage shows a distinctly triangular shaped object.  But, other than that…

Ben: “Well, I think you guys were very thorough.  It looks like you came up with an explanation.”

Larry: “I think they nailed it.  It’s an RC Plane.”

Chi-Lan: “I have no doubt in my mind it’s an RC Plane and this is fake.”

Austin does say that he doesn’t believe anyone was trying to hoax anyone.  The original video captured the flight and they just didn’t know what it was.  I can buy that.

I think we learned something very valuable in this episode.  If there is ever a video of a light or object in the sky, don’t bother investigating it, just say it’s an RC ____ and that should cover it and you can move “on to the next.”

Good job Bros (and Sisses)

Discussion of this episode is here.